The Mother of My Child - Jim Jefferies

I've got a paperweight Sitting on my desktop It's a conversation piece People walking by all want to stop And ask "is that a piece of marble?" I say "no, my friend, that right there is onyx. It's as dark as the night and as inky as the ocean My mother was a witch but she didn't play with potions!" They all say "ooo, it shimmers! Does that have secret powers?" I say "touch it with you left hand Tell me in an hour. Did you see the past and all of its nuance? Did you see your own life -- all the in-congruence? Can you understand now how Judas made decisions? And how it all relates to how you wrestle with your own plans?" My mother was a witch She gave me secret powers, yeah! My mother was a witch She gave me secret powers, yeah! My mother was a witch She gave me secret powers, yeah! My mother was a witch She gave me secret powers, yeah! My mother was a witch

Good God, don't jump The boy sat on the ledge An old man who had fainted was revived (He's all right) And everyone agreed t'would be a miracle indeed if the boy survived "Save the life of my child" Cried the desperate mother A woman from the supermarket ran to call the cops "He must be high on something", someone said Though it never made the New York Times In the Daily News the caption read "Save the life of my child" Cried the desperate mother (Hello, darkness, my old friend I've come to talk with you again) A patrol car passing by halted to a stop Said Officer McDougall in dismay "The force can't do a decent job 'Cause the kid's got no respect for the law today" (And blah, blah, blah) "Save the life of my child" Cried the desperate mother "Oh, what's become of the children?" People asking each other When darkness fell, excitement kissed the crowd and it made them wild In the atmosphere of freaky holiday When the spotlight hit the boy and the crowd began to cheer He flew away Oh, my grace, I've got no hidin' place Oh, my grace, I've got no hidin' place Oh, my grace, I've got no hidin' place Oh, my grace, I've got no hidin' place Oh, my grace, I've got no hidin' place

Sa-la-la-la, sick of the silence Sa-la-la-la, sick of the silence When I shut my eyes, it's a big commotion And when I close the blinds, there's a mouth that opens It says look at your life, sucker, you're just floating I said fa-la-la-la, motherfucker, I'm not listening Oh, no, no, no Oh, no, no 'Cause I'm just la-la-la-la sick of the silence (Sa-la-la-la sick of the silence) I get so sa-la-la-la sick of the silence (Sa-la-la-la sick of the silence) Because I'm terri-la-la-la-fied of what's inside of it (Terri-la-la-la-fied of what's inside of it) Yeah, I get so sa-la-la-la-la-la sick of the silence That I have to That I have to just scream (I don't wanna hear what's deep inside of me) And so I wrap my head around a holy mantra I'm thinking, "Oh, my God, what a chatty creature" It just kept talking and talking and talking all around in a circle I said, "Hey, little guy, I think it's time to go now" Let it go now, let it go 'Cause I'm just, la-la-la-la, sick of the silence (La-la-la-la, sick of the silence) I get so sa-la-la-la sick, I feel violent (Sa-la-la-la sick of the silence) Because I'm terri-la-la-la-fied of what's inside of it (Terri-la-la-la-fied of what's inside of it) Yeah, I get so sa-la-la-la-la-la sick of the silence That I have to That I have to just scream For I fear to hear what's deep inside of me Oh, I scream (I don't wanna know what's buried underneath) That's why I'm sa-la-la-la sick of the silence (Sa-la-la-la sick of the silence) Yeah, I'm sa-la-la-la sick of the silence (Sa-la-la-la sick of the silence) Because I'm terri-la-la-la-fied of what's inside of it (Sa-la-la-la sick of the silence) Yeah, I get so sa-la-la-la-la-la sick of the silence That I have to That I have to just scream (sa-la-la-la sick of the silence) (Sa-la-la-la sick of the silence) (Sa-la-la-la sick of the silence) (Sa-la-la-la sick of the silence) It goes la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la-la La-la, la-la-la, la-la-la-la It goes la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la-la, la-la That I have to That I have to just scream

My mother told me Someday I will buy Galley with good oars Sail to distant shores Stand up on the prow Noble barque I steer Steady course to the haven Hew many foe-men Hew many foe-men My mother told me Someday I will buy Galley with good oars Sail to distant shores Stand up on the prow Noble barque I steer Steady course to the haven Hew many foe-men Hew many foe-men My mother told me Someday I will buy (buy) Galley with good oars Sail to distant shores Stand up on the prow Noble barque I steer (Steady) steady course to the haven Hew many foe-men Hew many foe-men My mother told me Someday I will buy (buy) Galley with good oars Sail to distant shores Stand up on the prow Noble barque I steer (Steady) steady course to the haven Hew many foe-men Hew many foe-men