The lights were hot and the beer was not And the band was playin' loud The house was full But her eyes pulled me right across the crowd And I said how's a guy like me get to know you She said not so fast, let me show you She said the first step is the two-step I'm here to dance and nothing more Seing me 'round that hardwood floor If you want to run with me, crawl before you walk The first step is the two-step then we'll talk We sang along with every song And the room was spinnin 'round We danced in line, she felt so fine And w hardly hit the ground So I said maybe we could make a reservation For some wine with candlelight and conversation She said the first step is the two-step I'm here to dance and nothing more Seing me 'round that hardwood floor If you want to run with me, crawl before you walk The first step is the two-step then we'll talk First things first, let's two-step then we'll talk

You could say I'm plastered, 'cause I hit the wall I lost count after 21, in the college crawl Well, I've been a boozin' bastard They're callin' me Edward Forty-hands, I can't touch anyone With an enemy like me, who would need a friend? Nevermind I'm drunk Well, we've had enough power since the blackout started For an EKG for the broken hearted I'd try to see the glass as half full But I'd probably just drink that too! Glass half full, I'd probably just drink that too! Well, I'm the reason they call it an Irish goodbye And I hope I don't choke on my vomit tonight Well, I bet that a bottle of brandy so bitter'd be better than bitin' The bullet and betterin' myself, sorry if I slur! Take my anxiety and my sobriety I'll kill two birds with one stoner! So if you see me, please take my keys I don't wanna be an organ donor! Well, we've had enough power since the blackout started For an EKG for the broken hearted I'd try to see the glass as half full But I'd probably just drink that too! Glass half full, I'd probably just drink that too! I'm going down, and I'm taking you with me, yeah! I'm bringing the water to the horse So bring me the hair of the dog that bit me, yeah! So I can clone it and have a little more Haha! Well, we've had enough power since the blackout started For an EKG for the broken hearted I'd try to see the glass as half full Even when I'm empty, half full I'd try to see the glass as half full But I'd probably just Ahh! Glass half full, I'd probably just drink that too! I'd probably just drink that too! 99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer You take one down, pass it around, 92 bottles of beer on the wall 76 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer You take one down, pass it around, 98 bottles of beer on the wall W! No? Okay