All of this time I planned I'd be patient and You would love me again You'd come to respect my mind And at last, you'd find You could love me again And I have turned my whole world upside down Trying not to let you go Watching you walk away Is like a fatal blow Whoa! Is that my name up on that list? Does someone know that I exist? Is this a mistake? Am I even awake? Pinch me now to make sure Ow! Yes, that's my name in black and white Maybe I'm doing something right Wow, I feel so much better Than before Warner! Sorry I've been a pest But I guess my best Was not working with you But looks like I've found a cure And I so look forward to working with you (What? Working with who?) Hey, remember when we spent spring break In the hot tub every night? (Every night) We said nothing else Could ever feel so right Well, this might! (Stop) Seeing my name up on that list (ooh, on that list) That beats the first time that we kissed (ooh oh, they kissed) You thought I was dumb But I think that somebody's Judgement was poor Seeing my name in black and white It's like making love with you all night No wait, it feels So much better Hello, much better It's oh-oh-oh-oh-oh Much better 'Cause I am so much better Than before (Yes, she's so much better than before) (Yes, she's so much better than before) Maybe she's what you prefer But hey, last year I was her Maybe you will change your mind But you might look up to find I've gone on to better things Better jobs or bigger rings I don't have the time to cry I'm too busy loving My name up on that list Kind of a cool, ironic twist Who else can I tell? Hoo! Wait, where's my cell? Mom will fall on the floor Hey, Mom! Look at my name in black and white Your daughter's doing something right (something right) I feel so much better I'll be there on Monday, nine o'clock And we will see who walks the walk No, no, I can't wait I will be there at eight When they unlock the door Oh, oh! I'll even dress in black and white See, I have not begun to fight And you'll go Oh, much better And oh, much better And soon all y'all gonna know much better I am so much better (I am so much better) I am so much better (I am so much-) I am so much better Than before

Ooh, yeah Do I know you? 'Cause there you are Trust me, I'm not like any girl at this bar You can keep talkin' a mile a minute And I can still see my life without you in it So don't, don't you start cryin' Don't at least I'm not lyin' I'm shootin' you straight, straight from the hip Don't waste your time, just read my lips, shh I don't think you heard me correctly I'm no good for you, baby I can't say this more directly I'm no good for you, baby I'm no good, I'm no good I told you, I told you Proceed with care Baby, oh baby, you better beware I don't want to lead you on I'm no good for you, baby I'm no good, I'm no good I'll shake my junk to make other boys stare And I'll pretend you're not even standing there I can drink whiskey like it's going outta style And you can wait for me to change But you'll be waitin' quite awhile So don't call me devil woman Don't, think you'll be gettin' any lovin' I'm reckless, and restless, I don't clean my mess up I'm tryin' to be nice, it's not often that I fess up, shh I don't think you heard me correctly I'm no good for you, baby I can't say this more directly I'm no good for you, baby I'm no good, I'm no good I told you, I told you Proceed with care Baby, oh baby, you better beware I don't want to lead you on I'm no good for you, baby I ain't looking for Mr. Right Ain't looking for Mr. Right now You can say what you think I wanna hear But it won't help you anyhow I don't think you heard me correctly I'm no good for you, baby I can't say this more directly I'm no good for you, baby I'm no good, I'm no good I told you, I told you Proceed with care Baby, oh baby, you better beware I don't want to lead you on I'm no good for you, baby I'm no good, I'm no good I'm no good, I'm no good I'm no good, I'm no good I'm no good, I'm no good, baby She's reckless

Honey whatcha cryin at? You're not losing him to that Both her hair and shoes are flat Why is she so rude? Wipe your tears, it's no big thing You were meant to wear his ring Cheer-up, chin-up It's time to bring GREEK A happy attitude Keep it positive As you slap her to the floor GREEK Keep it positive As you pull her hair and call her whore You can take her in a fight You and he will reunite! GREEK You know we're right We're positive KILL HER! Girls, girls! Violence is never wise Not the way to win back guys Anyway she's twice my size Who's gotta plan B? Me! Look at her, she's like a nun Show him you are way more fun Bust out the lap dance And you won You off the hizzle, gee! What? GREEK Keep it positive Yeah! Let out your inner freak! GREEK Keep it positive Miss Prissy Pants won't last a week You will whet his appetite You and he will reunite GREEK You know we're right We're positive We're positive We're positive We're posi... (Spoken) Omigod... You're making me sick. (Spoken) Are we? Warner, let's take this back to my place. GREEK Hey, hey, hey! We're positive That he loves you and not her You're hotta' And I bet ya smarter! She don't know the real him You feel him So don't her her steal him Wake him up like sleepin beauty Turn his head with your red hot booty You bring the noise if we bring the funk It's positively time to shake your junk Shake, shake, shake, shake, Shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, Whoo (DANCE BREAK) (Spoken) Girls, how is this helping? He's not even here! He left while we were shaking "junk"! Wait! (Sung) Girls I'm positive That we've taken this to far No I'm positive This is Harvard not a stripper bar All this trashy carryin' on Thats the reason that he's gone I need a salon GREEK WHOO! Girls I'm Positive Try not to get upset But I'm Positive That it's time for me to go brunette GREEK what!? Being blonde and being hot That got me exactly squat! Gotta to show him I've got more to give GREEK Whoa, whoa, whoa No I'm positive GREEK Positive I'm positive GREEK Positive I'm positive Positive Positive ELLE AND GREEK Positive!

There! Right there! Look at that tanned, well tended skin Look at the killer shape he's in Look at that slightly stubbly chin Oh please, he's gay, totally gay I'm not about to celebrate Every trait could indicate The totally straight expatriate This guy's not gay, I say not gay That is the elephant in the room Well, is it relevant to assume That a man who wears perfume Is automatically, radically fae? But look at his coiffed and crispy locks Look at his silk translucent socks There's the eternal paradox Look, what we're seeing What are we seeing? Is he gay? Of course he's gay! Or European? Oh... Gay or European? It's hard to guarantee Is he gay or European? Well, hey don't look at me You see, they bring their boys up different In those charming foreign ports They play peculiar sports In shiny shirts and tiny shorts Gay or foreign fella? The answer could take weeks They both say things like, "Ciao bella" While they kiss you on both cheeks Oh, please Gay or European? So many shades of grey Depending on the time of day, the French go either way Is he gay or European or- There! Right there! Look at that condescending smirk Seen it on every guy at work That is a metro-hetero jerk That guy's not gay, I say no way! That is the elephant in the room Well, is it relevant to presume That a hottie in that costume Is automatically, radically Ironically, chronically Certainly, flirtingly Genetically, medically Gay, officially gay Swishily gay, gay, gay, gay Damnit! Gay or European? So stylish and relaxed Is he gay or European? I think his chest is waxed But they bring their boys up different There, it's culturally diverse It's not a fashion curse If he wears a kilt or bears a purse Gay or just exotic? I still can't crack the code Yeah, his accent is hypnotic But his shoes are pointy-toed (huh) Gay or European? So many shades of grey But if he turns out straight I'm free at eight on Saturday Is he gay or European? Gay or European? Gay or Euro- Wait a minute Give me a chance to crack this guy I have an idea I'd like to try The floor is yours So, Mr. Argitakos This alleged affair with Ms. Wyndham has been going on for? Two years And your first name again is? Nikos And your boyfriend's name is? Carlos I-I sorry, I misunderstand! You said "boyfriend", I thought you said "best friend" Carlos is my best friend You bastard, you lying bastard! That's it, I no cover for you, no more Peoples, I have an big announcement This man is gay and European Whoa! And neither is disgrace You've got to stop, you're being a completely closet case It's me not her he's seeing No matter what he say I swear he never, ever, ever swing the other way You are so gay, you big parfait You flaming one man cabaret I'm straight! You were not yesterday So if I may, I'm proud to say He's gay (and European) He's gay (and European) He's gay (and European and gay) Fine, okay, I'm gay Hooray!

All of this time I planned I'd be patient and You would love me again You'd come to respect my mind And at last, you'd find You could love me again And I have turned my whole world upside down Trying not to let you go Watching you walk away Is like a fatal blow Whoa! Is that my name up on that list? Does someone know that I exist? Is this a mistake? Am I even awake? Pinch me now to make sure Ow! Yes, that's my name in black and white Maybe I'm doing something right Wow, I feel so much better Than before Warner! Sorry I've been a pest But I guess my best Was not working with you But looks like I've found a cure And I so look forward to working with you (What? Working with who?) Hey, remember when we spent spring break In the hot tub every night? (Every night) We said nothing else Could ever feel so right Well, this might! (Stop) Seeing my name up on that list (ooh, on that list) That beats the first time that we kissed (ooh oh, they kissed) You thought I was dumb But I think that somebody's Judgement was poor Seeing my name in black and white It's like making love with you all night No wait, it feels So much better Hello, much better It's oh-oh-oh-oh-oh Much better 'Cause I am so much better Than before (Yes, she's so much better than before) (Yes, she's so much better than before) Maybe she's what you prefer But hey, last year I was her Maybe you will change your mind But you might look up to find I've gone on to better things Better jobs or bigger rings I don't have the time to cry I'm too busy loving My name up on that list Kind of a cool, ironic twist Who else can I tell? Hoo! Wait, where's my cell? Mom will fall on the floor Hey, Mom! Look at my name in black and white Your daughter's doing something right (something right) I feel so much better I'll be there on Monday, nine o'clock And we will see who walks the walk No, no, I can't wait I will be there at eight When they unlock the door Oh, oh! I'll even dress in black and white See, I have not begun to fight And you'll go Oh, much better And oh, much better And soon all y'all gonna know much better I am so much better (I am so much better) I am so much better (I am so much-) I am so much better Than before

Ooh, yeah Do I know you? 'Cause there you are Trust me, I'm not like any girl at this bar You can keep talkin' a mile a minute And I can still see my life without you in it So don't, don't you start cryin' Don't at least I'm not lyin' I'm shootin' you straight, straight from the hip Don't waste your time, just read my lips, shh I don't think you heard me correctly I'm no good for you, baby I can't say this more directly I'm no good for you, baby I'm no good, I'm no good I told you, I told you Proceed with care Baby, oh baby, you better beware I don't want to lead you on I'm no good for you, baby I'm no good, I'm no good I'll shake my junk to make other boys stare And I'll pretend you're not even standing there I can drink whiskey like it's going outta style And you can wait for me to change But you'll be waitin' quite awhile So don't call me devil woman Don't, think you'll be gettin' any lovin' I'm reckless, and restless, I don't clean my mess up I'm tryin' to be nice, it's not often that I fess up, shh I don't think you heard me correctly I'm no good for you, baby I can't say this more directly I'm no good for you, baby I'm no good, I'm no good I told you, I told you Proceed with care Baby, oh baby, you better beware I don't want to lead you on I'm no good for you, baby I ain't looking for Mr. Right Ain't looking for Mr. Right now You can say what you think I wanna hear But it won't help you anyhow I don't think you heard me correctly I'm no good for you, baby I can't say this more directly I'm no good for you, baby I'm no good, I'm no good I told you, I told you Proceed with care Baby, oh baby, you better beware I don't want to lead you on I'm no good for you, baby I'm no good, I'm no good I'm no good, I'm no good I'm no good, I'm no good I'm no good, I'm no good, baby She's reckless

There! Right there! Look at that tanned, well tended skin Look at the killer shape he's in Look at that slightly stubbly chin Oh please, he's gay, totally gay I'm not about to celebrate Every trait could indicate The totally straight expatriate This guy's not gay, I say not gay That is the elephant in the room Well, is it relevant to assume That a man who wears perfume Is automatically, radically fae? But look at his coiffed and crispy locks Look at his silk translucent socks There's the eternal paradox Look, what we're seeing What are we seeing? Is he gay? Of course he's gay! Or European? Oh... Gay or European? It's hard to guarantee Is he gay or European? Well, hey don't look at me You see, they bring their boys up different In those charming foreign ports They play peculiar sports In shiny shirts and tiny shorts Gay or foreign fella? The answer could take weeks They both say things like, "Ciao bella" While they kiss you on both cheeks Oh, please Gay or European? So many shades of grey Depending on the time of day, the French go either way Is he gay or European or- There! Right there! Look at that condescending smirk Seen it on every guy at work That is a metro-hetero jerk That guy's not gay, I say no way! That is the elephant in the room Well, is it relevant to presume That a hottie in that costume Is automatically, radically Ironically, chronically Certainly, flirtingly Genetically, medically Gay, officially gay Swishily gay, gay, gay, gay Damnit! Gay or European? So stylish and relaxed Is he gay or European? I think his chest is waxed But they bring their boys up different There, it's culturally diverse It's not a fashion curse If he wears a kilt or bears a purse Gay or just exotic? I still can't crack the code Yeah, his accent is hypnotic But his shoes are pointy-toed (huh) Gay or European? So many shades of grey But if he turns out straight I'm free at eight on Saturday Is he gay or European? Gay or European? Gay or Euro- Wait a minute Give me a chance to crack this guy I have an idea I'd like to try The floor is yours So, Mr. Argitakos This alleged affair with Ms. Wyndham has been going on for? Two years And your first name again is? Nikos And your boyfriend's name is? Carlos I-I sorry, I misunderstand! You said "boyfriend", I thought you said "best friend" Carlos is my best friend You bastard, you lying bastard! That's it, I no cover for you, no more Peoples, I have an big announcement This man is gay and European Whoa! And neither is disgrace You've got to stop, you're being a completely closet case It's me not her he's seeing No matter what he say I swear he never, ever, ever swing the other way You are so gay, you big parfait You flaming one man cabaret I'm straight! You were not yesterday So if I may, I'm proud to say He's gay (and European) He's gay (and European) He's gay (and European and gay) Fine, okay, I'm gay Hooray!

Honey whatcha cryin at? You're not losing him to that Both her hair and shoes are flat Why is she so rude? Wipe your tears, it's no big thing You were meant to wear his ring Cheer-up, chin-up It's time to bring GREEK A happy attitude Keep it positive As you slap her to the floor GREEK Keep it positive As you pull her hair and call her whore You can take her in a fight You and he will reunite! GREEK You know we're right We're positive KILL HER! Girls, girls! Violence is never wise Not the way to win back guys Anyway she's twice my size Who's gotta plan B? Me! Look at her, she's like a nun Show him you are way more fun Bust out the lap dance And you won You off the hizzle, gee! What? GREEK Keep it positive Yeah! Let out your inner freak! GREEK Keep it positive Miss Prissy Pants won't last a week You will whet his appetite You and he will reunite GREEK You know we're right We're positive We're positive We're positive We're posi... (Spoken) Omigod... You're making me sick. (Spoken) Are we? Warner, let's take this back to my place. GREEK Hey, hey, hey! We're positive That he loves you and not her You're hotta' And I bet ya smarter! She don't know the real him You feel him So don't her her steal him Wake him up like sleepin beauty Turn his head with your red hot booty You bring the noise if we bring the funk It's positively time to shake your junk Shake, shake, shake, shake, Shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, Whoo (DANCE BREAK) (Spoken) Girls, how is this helping? He's not even here! He left while we were shaking "junk"! Wait! (Sung) Girls I'm positive That we've taken this to far No I'm positive This is Harvard not a stripper bar All this trashy carryin' on Thats the reason that he's gone I need a salon GREEK WHOO! Girls I'm Positive Try not to get upset But I'm Positive That it's time for me to go brunette GREEK what!? Being blonde and being hot That got me exactly squat! Gotta to show him I've got more to give GREEK Whoa, whoa, whoa No I'm positive GREEK Positive I'm positive GREEK Positive I'm positive Positive Positive ELLE AND GREEK Positive!