Let me tell a story 'bout a boy named Brian
This is not a fairy tale, no, that's not what I'm implyin'
This is really not the type rhyme, writin' 'bout flexin'
Got some bitches on the phone, but I'm really not replyin' type shit

With the clique, and we goin' out to get ourselves a drink
To the fast lane, Mike made the pedal fuckin' sink
Bumpin' Lil Wayne, feelin' like we ain't got time to think
Cigarettes, feelin' like we be the kings

Got to the party 'bout 11:28
Went up to the bartender askin' for some Bombay
No mixer, straight up, so you know I'm gettin' wasted
Then I realized I ain't even bring my paper

Mike nowhere to be seen, losin' like I'm Charlie Sheen
Lookin' left and right, panickin' 'cause now my glass is clean
Talkin' to the bartender, "Sorry sir, I'm just a teen"
That's when I finally met the girl of my fuckin' dreams

Ain't no game that I play when it comes to
Gettin' that kitty out the cage for my night, go
Drive to store just to buy a fuckin' mattress
If that can mean she gon' end up on my nitrous

Back to the story, and now I'm talkin' to this girl
I'ma call her Tracy and she lookin' like dessert
She noticin' that I'm stressin' and she asked me, "What for?"
And I told her everything, and she gave me three fours

She said, "Where you wanna go?" and I told her, "I don't know"
"Do you got a girlfriend? That don't really matter, though"
I'm like, "Oh shit", thinkin' 'bout where this gonna go
So I proceed, man's never did this shit before, ayy

Back to her place now, tryna get my thing up
2 a.m., whiskey dick, 80 percent discount
So I had to go down, cruisin' down to poon town
Makin' sure I put that bitch's frown on upside-down

Gettin' pretty wet, sweat runnin' down her neck
And the kitty so cute, I wanna keep it as a pet
She so clean, man, that pussy smell like honeydew zest
Finally, gettin' hard, so you know what's finna happen next

Ain't no game that I play when it comes to
Gettin' that kitty out the cage for my night, go
Drive to store just to buy a fuckin' mattress
If that can mean she gon' end up on my nitrous

Strugglin' to put the Jimmy on
Turnin' red, I feel like a chameleon
Then she gettin' on top and yo' boy just start to feel hysteria
"Bump and Grind" playin' in the stereo

When I told her, "It's my first time"
And she told me, "Baby, it's fine, I don't mind"
Then she held my hand and it was intertwined
My God, it was nothin' like what I had in my mind
Now it's time to put it in, baby, now it's prime time

This is where the fun begun
Heard her moan, and I'm feelin' like I'm 'bout to fuckin' cum
Heard a knock, now your boy's got to go and fuckin' run
Then I made a jump, heard the loudest scream ever
It was from her fuckin' mom, ayy

Called Mike on the team, said, "I need to leave the scene"
He done picked me up, told him 'bout the girl that did the deed
Even said her name, then he asked if he could take a peek
Jumped out his fuckin' seat, turns out I fucked his sis