Ironic - Celia Rose Gooding, Antonio Cipriano, Laurel Harris, Kei Tsuruharatani, Ezra Menas, John Cardoza, The Original Broadway Cast of Jagged Little Pill & Jane Bruce

(I believe in the Zodiac Yeah, I do, I'm a Leo, I love Titanic Uh, this is something a little bit more Something a little bit morbidly ironic, my grandmother Uh, she was a Cancer and She was actually killed by a giant crab This is a song about the idea of irony So strap in!) My dog's stomach was very upset So I put him in the car and we went to the vet And on our way to the vet I killed a cat Hey, I said isn't that ironic? I adopted a child from overseas To rescue him from child labor factories And on his very first birthday, we went to Build-a-Bear workshop Isn't that ironic? Isn't that I-R-O-N-I-C-I-N-O-R-I-R-O-N-I-C? A water park has burned to the ground, and a A tow truck has broken down I always used to cry when I laughed And then I was raped by a clown Isn't that ironic? I was watching Al Gore on CNN He was talking and talking and talking and then Out of boredom, my pet polar bear shot himself Isn't that ironic? I dated an animal rights activist And one day, she got really pissed Because I was eating veal that was wrapped in "pita" bread ("PETA"? Fuck it) Isn't that I-R-O-N-I-C-I-N-O-R-I-R-O-N-I-C? I'm a stand up comic and I always sit and slouch And I got my girlfriend pregnant on my sterile uncle's "pull-out" couch Isn't that ironic? I-R-O-N-I-C Yeah, if everyday you play the board game Risk You've probably never taken a Risk in your life And Monopoly has far from a stranglehold on the board game market A little kid died from suffocation when he choked on a game piece from Operation And I can't grow a beard That one's not ironic, that one's just sad Bob Barker got all of my pets pregnant My grandfather had Alzheimer's And one day we were

An old man turned ninety-eight He won the lottery and died the next day It's a black fly in your Chardonnay It's a death row pardon two minutes too late Isn't it ironic, don't you think? It's like rain on your wedding day It's a free ride when you've already paid It's the good advice that you just didn't take And who would've thought it, it figures Mr. Play-It-Safe was afraid to fly He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids good-bye He waited his whole damn life to take that flight And as the plane crashed down he thought "Well isn't this nice" And isn't it ironic, don't you think? It's like rain on your wedding day It's a free ride when you've already paid It's the good advice that you just didn't take And who would've thought it, it figures Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you When you think everything's okay and everything's going right And life has a funny way of helping you out when You think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up in your face A traffic jam when you're already late A "No Smoking" sign on your cigarette break It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife It's meeting the man of my dreams, and then meeting his beautiful wife And isn't it ironic, don't you think? A little too ironic, and yeah I really do think It's like rain on your wedding day It's a free ride when you've already paid It's the good advice that you just didn't take And who would've thought it, it figures Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you Life has a funny, funny way of helping you out Helping you out

An old man turned ninety-eight He won the lottery and died the next day It's a black fly in your Chardonnay It's a death row pardon two minutes too late And isn't it ironic Don't you think? It's like rain on your wedding day It's a free ride when you've already paid It's the good advice that you just didn't take Who would've thought It figures Mr. Play It Safe was afraid to fly He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids goodbye He waited his whole damn life to take that flight And as the plane crashed down he thought "Well isn't this nice..." And isn't it ironic Don't you think? It's like rain on your wedding day It's a free ride when you've already paid It's the good advice that you just didn't take Who would've thought It figures Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you When you think everything's okay and everything's going right And life has a funny way of helping you out when You think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up In your face A traffic jam when you're already late A "No Smoking" sign on your cigarette break It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife It's meeting the man of my dreams And then meeting his beautiful wife And isn't it ironic Don't you think? A little too ironic And, yeah, I really do think It's like rain on your wedding day It's a free ride when you've already paid It's the good advice that you just didn't take Who would've thought It figures And life has a funny way of helping you out when You think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up In your face

My mind is invaded My gates are ignored My thoughts are negated And you're on a roll And I am offended By your acts of shamelessness Your lack of conscience And your flagrant steamroll What part of no do you not understand? Do you not understand? What part of no do you not understand? Do you not understand? My sorrow is left off My rages discounted My fears are founded This dam is no more What part of no do you not understand? Do you not understand? Don't touch me My body is frozen And I've sat with these secrets I'm no longer willing to What part of no do you not understand? Do you not understand? What part of no do you not understand? Do you not understand?