If I Only Had A... - Varla Jean Merman

I could wile away the hours Conferring with the flowers Consulting with the rain And my head I'd be scratching While my thoughts were busy hatching If I only had a brain I'd unravel every riddle For any individ'le In trouble or in pain With the thoughts I'd be thinking I could be another Lincoln If I only had a brain Oh, I could tell you why The ocean's near the shore I could think of things I never thunk before And then I'd sit and think some more I would not be just a nothing My head all full of stuffing My heart all full of pain Perhaps I deserve you And be even worthy serve you If I only had a brain I could wile away the hours Conferring with the flowers Consulting with the rain And my head I'd be scratching While my thoughts were busy hatching If I only If I only had a brain

I'd give my heart if you'd give your attention But when I look there's just an open trench, and baby I can't stand to see you, girl Showing off your silver party dress No, you can't come over now The house ain't neat, my room's a mess I'd give my heart to just be in contention But I sold it off at the baseball card convention I can't stand to see you, girl Rubbing motor oil on all your joints No, I ain't no straight A wiz But I could learn, that's not the point (I'll plot my points) I'd give my heart if I had one for giving I'd give my heart, your lips could keep me living I'd give my heart (I'd give my heart) and always be forgiving I'd give my heart (I'd give my heart) if I had one for giving

Yeah, it's sad, believe me Missy When you're born to be a sissy Without the vim and verve But I could show my prowess Be a lion, not a mowess If I only had the nerve I'm afraid there's no denyin' I'm just a dandylion A fate I don't deserve I'd be brave as a blizzard (Tin Man) I'd be gentle as a lizard (Scarecrow) I'd be clever as a gizzard (Dorothy) If the Wizard is a wizard who will serve (Scarecrow) Then I'm sure to get a brain (Tin Man) A heart (Dorothy) A home (Cowardly Lion) The nerve

No, no, no diggity This is the remix, remix (No diggity) Brought to you by Blackstreet (One, one, one, two) No diggity, no doubt Play on, play that (One, one, one, two) She was a gold digger (One, one, one, one, one, one, one, two) Yo Black drop the verse She was more like a beauty queen From a movie scene (Uh huh) Said I don't mind, but what do you mean I am the one (Yeah) Who will dance on the floor in a round (No, no, no diggity) She said I am the one (Yeah) So we dance on the floor in a round, babe (Say what?) No, no, no diggity (Yeah) She told me her name was Billie Jean And she caused a scene (Uh huh) Then every head turned with eyes That dreamed of being the one (No diggity) Who would dance on the floor in a round, babe (No, no, no diggity) People always told me Be careful what you do Don't go around breaking young girls' hearts (no, no diggity) And momma always told me be careful who you love Be careful (dig it up) of what you do (dig it up) Because a lie becomes the truth, hey Billie Jean is not my lover (No doubt) She's just a girl who claims that I am the one (Gold digger, gold digger, I like the way you try to get slick) But the kid is not my son No diggity, no doubt about it She said I am the one (Gold digger, gold digger, I like the way you try to get slick) But the kid is not my son (No, no, no, no diggity, one, one, one, one, two) For forty days and for forty nights I was on the scene (uh huh) But who can stand when she's in demand Her schemes and plans (yeah) So we danced on the floor in a round (No, no, no diggity) So take my strong advice Just remember to always think twice (Yeah, uh) Don't think twice, don't think twice She told my baby we'd danced till three And she looked at me (Uh huh) Then showed a photo of baby crying Eyes were like mine So we danced on the floor in a round, babe No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no (No diggity, no diggity.the bridge) People always told me be careful what you do Don't go around breaking young girls' hearts But she came and stood right by me Just the smell of sweet perfume It's happening much too soon She called me to the room, hey yeah Billie Jean (uh huh) is not my lover (yeah) She's just a girl who claims that I am the one (Gold digger, gold digger, I like the way you try to get slick) The kid is not my son The kid is not my son, she said I am the one (Gold digger, gold digger, I like the way you try to get slick) But The kid is not my son, yeah (No, no, no digitty, no diggity) Oh, no, no, no Billie Jean Billie Jean is (Yeah) is not my lover (No doubt) She's just a girl who thinks that I am the one (Gold digger, gold digger, I like the way you try to get slick) But the kid is not my son No diggity, no doubt about it She said I am the one, oh yeah The kid is not my son (Gold digger, gold digger, I like the way you try to get slick) No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Billie, Billie, Billie Jean Ad lib Until fade