Oh, deary me My little brother's in his bedroom Smoking weed I tell him he should get up 'Cause it's nearly half-past three He can't be bothered 'Cause he's high on THC I ask him very nicely If he'd like a cup of tea I can't even see him 'Cause his room is so smoky Don't understand How one can watch so much TV My baby brother Alfie How I wish that you could see Oh, I only say it 'cause I care So please can you stop pulling my hair Now, now, there's no need to swear Please don't despair My dear mon frère Oh, Alfie get up It's a brand new day I just can't sit back And watch you waste your life away You need to get a job Because the bills need to get paid Get off your lazy arse Alfie, please use your brain Surely there's some walls out there That you can go and spray I'm feeling guiltier For leading you astray Now how the hell do you ever expect That you'll get laid When all you do is stay in Playing your computer games Oh, I only say it 'cause I care So please can you stop pulling my hair Now, now, there's no need to swear Please don't despair My dear mon frère Oh, little brother Please refrain from doing that I'm trying to help you out So can you stop being a twat? It's time that you and I Sat down and had a little chat And look me in the eye Take off that stupid fitted cap Oh, I only say it 'cause I care So please can you stop pulling my hair Now, now, there's no need to swear Please don't despair Please don't despair Now mon frère