Blank Expression - Career Suicide

I'm staying up late again Something about the darkness that feels like a friend 'There'sm sleeping in once again Cause I don't understand the song birds when they sing I don't feel it Anymore I don't feel it Anymore Black out the sun Drag my sorry ass back to bed It's safer in the darkness I can't see inside my own head The doc gave me prescriptions I found my own bottle of meds Don't bother with the curtains I'll just black myself instead Cause I don't feel it Anymore I don't feel it Anymore Late to the party You lost your yellow handbag Long conversation In the car on the way back Foggy cracked windshield Feet up on the dashboard You hate the smell of cigarettes I just need one to clear my head Leaving the party it's more of the same We're talking in circles while you shift the blame It's clear in the rearview That I don't feel Anything Anymore So why am I so desperate to think that I am better than other people When we come from the same nothingness we unwillingly all retreat to I just wanna be I'm tired of the same old rinse and repeat And sleeping through scenes I should be living So when the curtain calls I can take a bow And be proud of the person I am now I got used to nothing and being a bore Now to do almost anything feels like a chore But tomorrow I'll wake up And come back for more Brush my teeth Wash my hair Drag myself out the door Cause I wanna feel it again

Shattered like the glass That casts a rainbow Across the back of your holy man What's the plan I don't have one I have no one Smoothest of glass Reflecting my past It doesn't seem far away Time passed so fast I knew it wouldn't last But it felt just like yesterday Isn't it obvious that I haven't been myself I'm nothing but a shell My bones My teeth My skeleton How did I think you could ever notice Notice that I've been trying harder than I ever have before I'm trying to understand why I do the things I do Why I say the things I say but I can't Nothing coming out of my mouth makes sense I know that I'm wishy-washy, insecure and totally confusing But so are you You push me away time and time again And I persist But we're not talking about you now and I understand that We're not talking about how selfish you can be We're not talking about everything wrong We're talking about everything wrong with me I get it I know you said not to say sorry so much and I promise I'm not Lord help me I'm alone again